• Choosing to Believe

    A few weeks ago, I visited Pearl Harbor and the USS Arizona memorial. I wasn’t sure what to expect. My father was in the Navy during WWII at Normandy and later in the Pacific. I wanted to honor his service and the legacy of my parents’ generation who sacrificed and died to preserve our democracy.

    I stared into the water at the rusting sunken ship, which is a gravesite for more than 900 sailors. I wondered if they were young like Dad who signed up at 21, or if they had any idea what they were getting into when they joined the Navy. Pearl Harbor was a large naval base, but in 1941, it probably seemed like they were in the middle of nowhere, doing nothing important. Until it was bombed.

    USS Arizona Memorial

    In his later years, Dad said matter-of-factly, “War is hell.” He didn’t favor patriotic parades or ever make a big deal out of his service. Much as he hated war, he was also profoundly committed to preserving democracy. 

    Standing on deck of the memorial with the breeze rippling the water and lifting my hair, I didn’t feel a deep connection to Dad. Instead I felt frustrated, angry, and deeply sad that 85 years later, our country’s democracy is crumbling. I want to apologize to all the people who sacrificed and died so we wouldn’t see a day when the Current Occupant would engage us in a senseless war, trash our relationships with our international allies, and run roughshod over citizens’ constitutionally protected rights.

    I am worried about our country’s future. We certainly weren’t perfect 10 years ago or 20 years ago, but at least democracy was viable and mostly functioning then.

    More recently, I heard Yo-Yo Ma perform with the Minnesota Symphony Orchestra, and the music was as exceptional and moving as I expected. When he came out to play an encore, he alluded to Minnesota’s ordeal with ICE and our impressive community spirit. The audience clapped long and loud, grateful to be seen and acknowledged. Ma described the piece by Pablo Casals he intended to play. He said the music gets so quiet it almost disappears and there is fragility in the moment, but the music grows and fragility becomes strength.

    I am choosing to believe that as fragile as our democracy is right now, too many of us believe in it to let it disappear, so it will grow strong again.

    , , , , , , , , , , ,

    8 responses to “Choosing to Believe”

    1. WritingfromtheheartwithBrian Avatar

      Love how you describe our democracy — so fragile, but incredibly tough and strong all at the same time. The USS Arizona Memorial really is something to see. When we visited it, years ago I had similar some similar thoughts to you. Patriotism isn’t about lip service or parades. It’s standing up, supporting neighbors, and fighting for our fragile democracy!

      1. Ellen Shriner Avatar

        Thank you for your thoughts. I never thought we’d be in this spot, but we are and we have to keep fighting.

    2. Ann Tippett Avatar

      We in Rochester NY see you and are so inspired by all in Minneapolis. As a Sanctuary and Democratic city, we fear we’re next for Ice invasion but we’re ready. F Ice. Our shared defiance is what your father and all before him fought for. Keep writing and keep fighting

      1. Ellen Shriner Avatar

        Thank you—means a lot. I hate the idea of 🧊 invading your city too, but won’t be surprised. So hard to get rid of them. Still 650 agents in the metro area 🤬 The other day I was thinking how being hopeful is a decision, a choice. No longer a naturally occurring experience. I used to be an optimist. Now on a good day, I’m a realist. But we all have to keep fighting—it’s too important not to. So glad we’re in this together.

    3. Eliza Waters Avatar

      👍🏼 👏🏼 🙏🏼

    4. CMadison Avatar
      CMadison

      What an excellent essay, one of the best in this series.

      1. Ellen Shriner Avatar

        Thank you–means a lot

    Comments?

  • Moving On

    “Crystel’s carrying the dining room table out of the house!” Jody said, a note of panic in her voice. “Now the chairs!”

    Quietly, I felt proud of Crystel. She was going ahead with gumption, emptying our house while we were in Florida, not asking permission, not making a fuss. Jody kept tabs on the coming and goings through the Blink footage, watching life continue without us. In what felt like solidarity with her alarm, I said, “Yeah… she could have told us before she did it.”

    “Well, you did tell her to give everything away,” Jody said, somewhat accusingly.

    “Yeah,” I said. “I did say that didn’t I?”

    I imagined walking into our house when we returned in May and not seeing our dining room table. Juan wouldn’t be assembling a Lego set or Crystel stitching at the table. Our final board game had already happened.

    The two girls turned the table sideways to fit through the door, and the leaf extension opened awkwardly.

    “We better remind her to get the table leaves from the basement,” Jody said.

    “You’d think she’d know that” I said, cocking my head studying the video clip. The extension fell completely open now. It was like watching a movie reel, silent, irreversible.

    “Yeah,” Jody replied. “You’d think so… but.”

    Later, we got a photo from Crystel. She was sitting at the table in its new home. She had gifted the table to her friend who was moving into a new apartment.

    Quickly, Jody texted a list: These are the things I want from the house—do not give away. Heart-shaped end table from her mother. Charging side table in living room. Lounge chair the cats sit in.

    Our house will go on the market by summer. Juan and Crystel are turning twenty-four this year still living at home. Juan has a plan to move into an apartment with his girlfriend. Crystel’s plans are fluid. It’s as if the house is still raising the kids, negotiating garbage duty, washing dishes, cleaning house.

    After the house sale, Jody and I plan on living in our RV. Maybe sooner than expected, judging by how quickly our household items are leaving through the front door.

    “I think it’s a good idea,” I said to Jody, “that Crystel is helping give things away. With the dining room table gone, there’s no pretending we’re not leaving.”

    Twenty-five years, we lived in that house. The only home Juan and Crystel knew. They are dismantling their childhood while still living inside it. Crystel has sewn her t-shirts into a quilt; Juan is going through his sweatshirts one by one.

    Maybe this is how it happens. Not with one final goodbye, but piece by piece. A table. A chair. A room that echoes a little more than it used to.

    For years we filled that house with noise, laughter, birthdays, school and neighborhood parties. Arguments and apologies.

    Now they are emptying it.

    ,

    8 responses to “Moving On”

    1. Be Avatar
      Be

      A wonderful post…one that resonates as I’m in the process of giving away a dining room table I treasured for decades

    2. ANN HELM Avatar
      ANN HELM

      So many memories. What a smart way to do this.

      1. Elizabeth di Grazia Avatar
        Elizabeth di Grazia

        Thank you, Ann for reading. Amazing life we have been given. Happy you are a part of it.

    3. rosesingarden3 Avatar
      rosesingarden3

      Time flies, doesn’t it. All the memories… Onward!

      1. Elizabeth di Grazia Avatar
        Elizabeth di Grazia

        Thank you for reading, Rosemary. Yes, you were a part of the fabric of our home. Love reading about your moving on.

    4. rosesingarden3 Avatar
      rosesingarden3

      How sad/happy this makes me. Brings back memories! Onward.

    5. clownboat Avatar
      clownboat

      Wonderful

      1. Elizabeth di Grazia Avatar
        Elizabeth di Grazia

        Thank you, Scott. Remembering the picnics you had at our house and in the park. Some of our first video!

    Comments?

  • Whistles Still Blowing

    As we file federal taxes, think about how our leaders chose to spend our money. Not on highways or better schools or improved health, but on 3,000 armed and masked government agents sent into multi-cultural communities with near complete freedom to hunt for people who might be in the U.S. illegally. Wearing expensive military equipment. No warrants needed. No explanation of how their lists are assembled. Federal domestic abuse perpetrated on men, women and children, particularly if they do not have white skin. And extended to anyone blowing the whistle on the ICE action or filming the action or merely annoying the masked strangers.

    Comfort is needed for people hiding in the occupied cities of Minnesota, for people brave enough to care for their neighbors’ needs, for all both here and abroad who have watched the loss of life and the trampling of basic human rights. For those who sing along with Bruce Springsteen’s “Streets of Minneapolis” and fear their own communities’ futures.  Trauma exists far beyond the I-494-694 freeways.

    Family and friends have fled the cities looking for safety and security and the ability to work. Some people just disappeared. They may have returned to other countries. They might be in a DHS facility. Or they could be living in your state. Thousands of individuals continue to feed, provide transportation, pay the rent of those in hiding.  ICE may stalk caregivers’ homes as well. And our schools, teachers, staff, parents who patrol each morning and afternoon.

    For those willing to walk in subzero weather and throw their bodies in the way of harm to protect a stranger or neighbor, how will we keep fighting for the United States we love? There isn’t any end date for what is happening. Did anyone think we would be facing these questions a year ago? 

    The answers are large, unknown. 

    One day at a time. One struggle at a time. 

    Whistles are still blowing on the streets of Minneapolis.

    , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

    Comments?


Recent Posts

  • Alex Jeffrey Pretti – January 24, 2026

    The air is heavy in Minneapolis. With anger. Grief. Shock (although we are growing harder to shock). Uncertainty. What will any of us see on the street, at the store, at schools, at clinics? Who will be harmed next, whisked away to undisclosed locations only to be released without explanation or apology? Who else will…

  • Borrowed Time

    Rain hammered the passenger van, rattling the metal like gravel tossed against a tin roof. Each burst sounded closer, louder, as if the storm were trying to break its way in. Why today, of all days, when Juan was visiting his birth family? We had planned it so carefully. We’d even had a kind of…

  • From Minneapolis

    …they have cost children the life of their mother….